I never saw myself as a mom, having my own family. And being pregnant has always been kind of a horror scenario to me, since it is a situation one cannot control or “stop“ whenever you don’t feel like it. Scary considering I always liked to be the one in control.

Now that we got pregnant, I am so absolutely thankful for this powerful and transformative experience. I am forced to face issues, fears, people, situations I would have otherwise pushed aside. I am learning everyday anew what it means to accept, to let go, and how liberating this can be.

Pregnancy is transformative, obviously physically, but also in so many ways mentally – I can see myself growing, beautifully transforming and becoming stronger and clearer in my path. I try to live every single day of pregnancy consciously, soaking every part of it in. The pleasant and the unpleasant parts of it.

It’s such a powerful process and I have never felt so much faith, love, acceptance, but also vulnerabilty and sensibility in my life before. I am widely open. Ready to transform. Ready to open a new chapter. Embracing life.

I usually hate christmas. The consumer society. People acting. Family gatherings. Everything about it.

This year I almost skipped visiting my family. But I knew I would make a few people happy just by showing up. And there would be a lot of drinking. How bad can it be?

It was good. No stress. No presents. It was super relaxed. And to my surprise I really enjoyed it. For the first time in years.

I was never much of a family person. I think they are awesome, don’t get me wrong, I just felt like a “black sheep”.

This is about to change I feel. I guess since I will be a dad in a few weeks myself – this is still very unreal to me haha – and the fact I am starting my own little family, it plays an increasing role in my life.